A pointless appointment, and a little gold nugget at the end

I know I shouldn't have bothered, Ive been thinking this all week........ Ryan's audiologist had suggested we should see a developmental pediatrician now that Ryan is at school. Made such total sense the way she put it in that it could be someone to look at him as a whole instead of his growing list a specialists all just looking at their little area of expertise. The DP she suggested has an awful reputation for being great but very very blunt, with awful people skills. I'm just not ready to be subjected to that so I garnished a few references from friends and made an appointment with someone else. Really the dr couldn't have been nicer, even when i started the appointment with "I know he is very very delayed but I don't want to hear any dire prognosis or where you think he will be in 5,10 years etc, I'm not here for that, i just want to make sure we are doing everything we should be doing, and are not missing anything medically" 2 hours later, after quite a few meltdowns from Ryan (hes just about had enough of drs poking and prodding him and checking to see if both testicles are there, even though the 10 other specialists have already checked that (when do they stop doing that!)) he agreed we were doing everything and the next logical step was a mito / metabolic expert and a repeat MRI. Ryan really didn't show off anything he could do except his ability to drool all over everyone and everything, so the dr didn't even get a good judge at where he was development wise, although he did think Ryan's school was wonderful and calmed my fears a little regarding their "total communication approach".

So I left a little deflated, really through no fault but my own's. I'm just tired, I'm tired of not knowing, I'm tired of, well, everything. Just tired............ On the way out we were standing at the elevator and there was a big number 1 on the side. I asked Ryan where the number one was, he looked around, all over, saw the 1 looked at me and smiled a huge smile and pointed (with his little thumb) right too it, and looked back at me with such a sense of "I know that mum!" His teacher had told me at the meeting last week that he was loving learning numbers. Hey, maybe shes right.